Weird Headlines #1: Man Strangles On Own Eyeball (and other surprise endings)

grim reaper multiplesDuring the period from 1979 through 1996 I owned a small retail music store in Charleston, South Carolina. I was an avid newspaper reader at the time and kept a scrapbook of articles which featured odd and unusual people and events. This is my first effort at categorizing the mountain of weird that I clipped out. There will be more to come.

The clippings came from the Charleston News and Courier and the Evening Post. The evening edition was discontinued and the paper changed its name to the Post and Courier. Keep in mind that most of these clippings are around a quarter of a century old.

Now that I am 64 years old and approaching my own end, I have this gut feeling that the fate which awaits could be quite bizarre. It’s just karma. Who knows? Maybe I will be the last entry in the tattered old scrapbook assuming, of course, that my kids don’t just toss the whole mess into the landfill.

Please note that you can click to enlarge most of the photos and photoshops. Makes for easier reading…

I have been to Niagara Falls three times.  It is a truly awesome experience. Be prepared to get wet. The mist and the roar of the falls is all-encompassing. If you go there be sure to stay on the Canadian side.

The sub-headline indicating that he was not wearing a helmet is really important. If I were contemplating going over the falls, I would be sure to add this precaution to my lunatic safety list…between cyanide capsule and last will and testament.

Niagara Falls Kayak Fail

                                Click to Enlarge!Niagara jetski x700Didn't see that coming poster

Knoxville Postcard

                                                          Click to Enlarge! Marlin drowns man

Asphalt death x525

                                                        Click to Enlarge!Collapse in Manhattan
guillotine hell 4

Man Shot, Baby Ugly 5

                                Click to Enlarge!Banjo kill wife 2

Ziti Slaying

The Eyes Have It Poster

Forgets glasses kills wrong woman

Technically, the next one is not about death. It does fall under the category of “surprise endings”, however, in that I would be surprised if the relationship between these love birds could be fixed with couple’s counseling.

The weirdest aspect of this incident is that, after the guy yanks out his sweetie’s eye, he takes it for a walk. He is soon stopped by cops and brawls with them while still holding the prize orb. By the time he was subdued the eyeball was probably very mooshy.

Pull Fiance EyeMan Strangles Eyeball x540

Okay, I admit it.  I screwed around with the clown funeral clipping.clown-funeral-redo-2

 

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